I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
false alarm, still single
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
