I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize