I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Randomize
