He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
