sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
