Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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