You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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