hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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