Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
