Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
