He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I would fuck him just for his dog
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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