Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
