I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
the liver wants what the liver wants
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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