dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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