walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
