Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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