Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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