I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
