I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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