thus making me awesome and them whores
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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