We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
