i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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