Sponge bath it is.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
