also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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