im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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