The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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