Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
3 2 1 whiskey
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
