two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
