I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
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