Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
How does it feel to date your dad?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
