I'm drive I can fine osifer
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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