My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
