Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
