So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
