your thong is hanging out like whoa
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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