You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
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