Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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