I'm so fucking centered right now
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
