dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
