And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
