Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
