We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize