i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize