sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
a search helicopter?!
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
