At least make sure they are 18
Why
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
