I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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