Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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