North Korea, Best Korea!
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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