Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
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