It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
