why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
