are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
