On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Randomize
