It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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