I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
