accomplished twins. life is a go
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
The best revenge is premature balding
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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