You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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