I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
