Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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