What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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