You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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