He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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