I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Randomize
