We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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