In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
