Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
It's official drugs can't kill me
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You ruined the universe
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
