I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
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